


Hold on

by chesterfieldred



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Almost Drowning, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Kinda, M/M, Panic Attacks, Phobia, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash, Swearing, Wet ghoul
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2016-03-28
Packaged: 2018-05-29 18:13:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6387286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chesterfieldred/pseuds/chesterfieldred
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, the dangers of the Commonwealth aren't raiders or ferals or deathclaws. Sometimes they are inside of your head.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hold on

"What do you mean, you can't swim?" Will looked at him dumbfounded, as if he had said something very stupid and Hancock would have teared his hair in frustration, if he still had some. Stupid vault-dweller. Stupid wasteland. Stupid river. He should have known that sooner or later shit like this would happen. 

They were on their way to a minutemen settlement, Egret Tours or whatever, because the settlers had noticed them about raider problems, and up until now everything had been fine, a real pleasure trip as far as the Commonwealth could provide. Now they were standing on the banks of a large river, dividing the countryside. The next bridge was miles away. And of course they had to get across somehow. 

"I just can't, alright?" The ghoul snapped and stared disgruntled at the lazy swirls of the current that looked way too dark and cold and fucking deep.

"Not that many possibilities in Goodneighbor to learn it," Hancock muttered as an afterthought and kicked a stone into the river dejectedly.

Will blinked, "But... you grew up in Diamond City, didn't they teach you there?"

Hancock shock his head, sourly, avoiding eye contact. It was a lie, a big, fat lie, but there was no way he would tell Will the truth. 

"Well, damn..." Will huffed and looked across the river, contemplating. Then he looked back at the ghoul, "I could... you know."

"What?"

"I swim and you hold onto me."

Hancock scoffed and shock his head in disbelief, "Don't talk rubbish. You just go and I'll head home."

Will raised an eyebrow at him, "Home? It's a six day hike back to Sanctuary, four to Goodneighbor. I won't let you walk there alone. Besides, it's getting dark soon. Egret's just two hours from here."

The burly human fastened the straps of his bag, securing his weapons and checking his pockets for anything loose that could float away. He seemed unfazed by the prospect of swimming across, Hancock like a deadweight on his back. The ghoul wished he had that kind of faith.

"Hey, you chicken out on me now?" Will looked at him, eyes sparkling teasingly, "Or simply afraid I may not like the smell of wet ghoul?"

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Hancock knew there was no way for him to get out of this with his dignity intact. He growled acidly, "Shut up, dipshit."

Lifting his chin determinedly, he marched towards the water, fastening the holster of his shotgun. Small waves curled around his boots when he stepped in and he followed them with a dark gaze. He could do this. Will was there, he could thrust him. No problem.

Said human walked past him, wading into the water without hesitation. Hancock swallowed nervously and forced himself to follow.

"Shit, this is cold," Hancock hissed in dismay and Will chuckled deeply, "What did you expect? It's the middle of february."

The freezing water seeped into their boots, into their clothes and fucking everywhere and Hancock shuddered, cursing under his breath. The ground was muddy and slippery as they stumbled down the uneven ground, deeper into the murky water. Will was already in up to his chest, Hancock right behind him. He reached up to loop his arms around Will's bulky neck, maybe a little bit faster than necessary.

"You good?" Will asked and Hancock nodded stiffly against the back of the humans head. He wasn't good. Not one bit. He looked past Will's mop of dark brown hair towards the other riverbank and the distance seemed to stretch endlessly in front of his eyes. 

"Okay, just hold on, "Will muttered and waded deeper into the cold water and Hancock started to loose his footing and floated behind the human, clinging to his neck. He drew a shuddering breath and told himself it was because of the cold water. 

Will started to swim, moving under him with strong breast strokes and keeping his feet mostly still so he wouldn't kick him. Hancock buried his non-existent nose in the humans hair and simply hold on, concentrating on his breathing. And at first it was okay. Up until they were almost in the middle of the slow moving river. Until he foolishly dared to open eyes he couldn't remember closing. A bolt of fear flashed through him. 

"Will!" He gasped, trying to force it down, to calm himself and Will's voice sounded strained, hollowed, like it was a million miles away, "Yes. We're almost there."

It wouldn't go away. It grew. His chest started to ache. Hancock swallowed a whimper violently and tightened his hold on the humans neck. The water was so cold and dark. They would drown. Sink below into the darkness and he wouldn't be able to reach the surface again, ice-cold water filling his lungs and he couldn't breath- He heard a high pitched noise and needed a moment to understand that it was himself, keening in fear. And then everything blurred.

****

Will knew immediately that something wasn't right when he heard the small, distraught noise behind him. And when the ghoul suddenly clung to him, fingers digging into his throat, he knew they were in deep shit. 

"Hancock, y- you're choking me!" Will gasped and lost his forward momentum, unable to swim further. Irradiated fingers squeezed his throat and Will clawed at their iron grip, tried to get them to loosen up, bucking frantically in the water and flailing his arms to stay above the surface. Hancock suddenly weighted a ton and pushed him down, knees kicking into his back. 

"Hancock! Fuck!" Will spluttered on water, head dipping under and bone-chilling terror seized him when he resurfaced again, gulping in air, "John! Shit, stop!"

But the ghoul didn't. Will heard harsh, little gasps behind him, Hancock was hyperventilating in fear, in blind panic.  
Will decided on a course of action in a mere fraction of a second. There was no other way.

He turned in the water, kicking his legs desperately to stay above with Hancock clutching at him. Blunt nails racked trough his face and Will yelled in pain. He flailed to grasp the ghoul, could see his black eyes for a second, wide in naked, deadly terror. Tussling and swallowing water, he fought to grasp Hancock around the neck, leaned back and punched the ghoul in the jaw with as much force as possible.

Hancock went out like a light, his body going slack and sinking below. Will grasped him and tried to hold them both above water, kicking and gasping and coughing and for a terrifying moment he lost his orientation, couldn't make out up or down or where the fucking shore was. He clawed at Hancock, desperate not to loose him and craned his head around and then he saw the other bank again. He hoisted Hancock's head on his shoulder so the ghoul could breathe, hooked his arm around the lithe form and started towards it.

It took way to long. He went under again and again, coughing and spitting water, muscles burning from the effort and the freezing water. Finally he could feel a ground under his kicking feet again, allowing him to stand and he stumbled, hauled Hancock out of the water and fell to his knees into the mud when they simply buckled under him. He hacked up water violently, shivering from head to toe.

"John!" Will gasped and crawled over to the motionless form, turning him on his back and fearing the worst. He felt a wave of relief wash over him when he realized the ghoul was still breathing, shallow and strained, knocked unconcious but alive. They were alive.

Will sagged next to Hancock and collapsed on his back into the mud, still coughing and wheezing.

"Fuck..."

****

When Hancock came to again, he blinked into a fire, crackling in front of him. Instinctively he tried to move backwards, but found he couldn't. A warm body was pressed to his back, two huge arms slung around his middle, keeping him sitting upright. And... he was naked, except for his underwear, covered only with a dirty, old blanket and sitting on a worn matress in a half deteriorated shack. The fuck...? 

Then he remembered. A deep groan of remorse and pure embarrassement vibrated through his chest and his jaw ached where Will's fist had landed. Damn, but that man packed a punch. And he had so, _so_ deserved it. The ghoul shuddered at the memory of the cold water, of the blinding fear, and immediately wanted to punch himself in the face again for being the biggest idiot in the Commonwealth... including that Brotherhood-asshole Maxson.

The warm body that was wrapped around him in a bear hug stirred and Will mumbled something unintelligible against his head. Hancock wanted to shrink in on himself and simply disappear.

"John?" Will asked alarmed, towering over him.

Hancock gave a small grunt of acknowledgement and lowered his eyes, staring into the fire, and now he spotted their still drenched clothes, on the other side of the small campfire. Will had undressed them both, soaked to the bone as they had probably been. He even saw his hat, and he had already feared that he had lost it.

"You okay?"

"Yeah..." Hancock mumbled and sighed, "I'm sorry..."

Will was silent behind him for a moment and tightened his embrace, before whispering, "The hell was that, John?"

He had to tell him. He owed him that much. Even if he was trembling and embarassed. But hell, this fucking embarrassement was what had gotten them both into this in the first place. What had gotten them both almost killed.

"I... shit..." the ghoul growled, voice small and defeated, "I'm afraid."

Will grumbled behind him questioningly and Hancock clarified, "Of the water."

"Of the water? But-"

"Look, I'm a fucking coward, okay?" Hancock snarled under his breath,"I never learned how to swim because I'm a wussy and a stupid one at that! I should have told you! I almost turned us both into driftwood!"

Will was silent for a moment. Then the huge man rested his chin on his shoulder, "Why are you afraid? Something happened?"

Hancock deflated, memories resurfacing, from so long ago.

"I was eight... or maybe nine... It was hot that day and my father told us to get lost, so we went to the lake in Diamond City. All the kids were there. The older ones took a shitload of rad-x and jumped in. But... I was afraid. It looked so deep, even if it probably wasn't, so I just sat on the boardwalk and watched them. And then... my brother came up to me and tossed me into the water. Dumbass was cackling, 'You need to learn how to swim someday, Johnny!' and him and his stupid friends laughed their asses off while I swallowed half the lake that day. Never went there again."

He stared into the flames. It still hurt.

"You are no coward, John. You were a child. And I'm sorry, too, "Will murmured gently and Hancock frowned, "You? What for?"

"Shouldn't have made you go. We could have walked to that damn bridge..."

The ghoul shrugged, "We would have lost a whole day. You didn't know and I could have said the truth. Forget it."

Will sighed quietly, "Well... one good thing about this, though. Now I have another reason to punch your brother in the face next time I see him."

Hancock scoffed and snuggled into the warm embrace, "I'd pay to see that."

"You know what?" Will chuckled quietly and squeezed him, "Heading home, we take the bridge. Even if we have to walk some more. And when we're back at Sanctuary, I'll teach you how to swim. If you want to."

"I'd like that," Hancock grinned and closed his eyes, feeling warm and exhausted and he could feel Will smile against his cheek, "Heh, get to smell some more wet ghoul."

"Fuck you, Will," Hancock mumbled affectionately and drifted off to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> I know, I know, in game, everyone can swim (even Nick despite all the metal) for sake of playability. This is just creative freedom and my burning need to make up drama (well... more than there is already :3)


End file.
